Are you ready for some football? Well I'm not. This is the first January in years that I haven't lost sleep over the Eagles. The first time I haven't been obsessed with looking at stats, predictions, and articles. The first year in ages I haven't been pissed off that the national media is underrating the Eagles. The first year I haven't been giddy with excitement. It will be interesting to watch the playoffs with nothing on the line. I used to know every possible scenario and what would happen if so and so won and all that jazz. Now it sort of hurts to go to espn.com.
I will of course have plenty of teams to root against. But who do I root for? One thing I've learned is it is much more fun to watch sports when you have a team to cheer for and get excited about. It pains to me to even have to think in these terms, cheer for a team that isn't the Eagles? I usually just end up picking the underdog or the team that has been notoriously bad. But it is a very surface excitement. Never the deep down kind of excitement. Not that I would know the deep down excitement of winning a championship but I assume it is deep down.
Anyway when looking for a team to "support" when the Eagles are out of it I look for a team that hasn't had any direct impact on the Eagles during my lifetime. Well, negative impact. That leaves pretty much AFC teams...but even then. I went to school in Massachusetts and I am a Michigan fan, so "New England" (I use quotes because last time I checked "New England" wasn't a state) would make sense. Except we all know what happened last year. Plus "New England" fans are so fucking annoying and cocky. They get to win everything. Give someone else a fucking chance.
Washington and New York - No and No. For obvious reasons. Carolina? Well let's be honest, it still makes me sick to see their jerseys. Who gave them a football team anyway? Carolina? North or South? Hello. Pick a state people! Jake Delhomme pisses me off too.
Tampa Bay. Well I think we all know the answer to that one. NO FUCKING WAY! Sure John Gruden used to be the Eagles offensive coordinator, but I think we all remember the debacle that was our second NFC Championship defeat. Yes I said OUR.
Seattle? No. Sure they are birds too. And even green. My brother lives there so I have some connection. But I can't forget that Monday night in early December. And Hasselbeck's sister-in-law is a real fucking bitch - plus I think she is a republican too.
Jacksonville. I am just so indifferent about them, it would be impossible to cheer them on. Florida has too many football teams anyway and I just never really liked them. Sure if it came down to it I could get it up enough to cheer for them over say the Giants or a team like that. But when I think of Jacksonville for whatever reason I still think of Mark Brunell and to be honest, I don't like thinking about Mark Brunell. I know Byron Leftwich this, Byron Leftwich that. Suck my dick.
Do I root for the Colts because I feel bad for Tony Dungy? Peyton Manning doesn't bother me nearly as much as he used to. Do I cheer for Cincinnati because they aren't ever any good? What about Pittsburgh - they are after all from Pennsylvania too. But perhaps they are just a little too close to home. And there is just something about Bill Cowher and this Ben Roethlisberger character that doesn't sit well. What about Chicago? Well I can only think about the fog bowl. I was only like 7 but they don't let you forget anything in Philly. Denver just bores me. And why is Mike Shanahan still in the picture?
Well I guess that is everyone. So the Bengals or the Colts. I would never dare root for the Colts under normal circumstances. They are too much of a favorite, and I hate dome teams. But I feel so bad for Tony Dungy and his family. But football isn't about pity. So I guess it's the Bengals. Just as long as I ignore the fact that Carson Palmer is their QB I should be able to do it. This is just a no win situation. I just don't get it. 32 teams in the NFL and there is something wrong with every last one of them...well except the Eagles - they of course are perfect. I guess I will just be reduced to cheering against teams. That can be fun too. I can almost get that deep down excited feeling when a team I hate loses.
By the way I came in second in my football pool this year. I am pretty pissed. I was trying for a three-peat. Just a few points short. It was those two games in the beginning of the season when I picked Arizona to win. I know. I know. But people thought they were going to be good this year, well, better. But I suppose it is karma. Last year I won $250 because of a 5 point Arizona win over Tampa Bay. Everything comes full circle. At least this year, second place (eeeew I hate even just typing second place), gets a cash prize. There's always next year!
One more thing. Did anyone watch the game last night? I saw parts of it. But from what I watched they kept talking about how big Vince Young is. Over and over. About how USC had some guy that size stand in so they could get used to playing against a QB that big. Dan Fouts or whatever the fuck his name is said it like 50 times. 6'5" 233. Yeah that is big, I'll give you that. But USC's very own Matt Leinart is listed at 6'5" 225. Forgive me if my math is off because I didn't use a calculator but that would only be about an 8 pound difference. I just don't get it. 8 pounds! How come they didn't spend twenty minutes talking about how big Matt Leinart was? 8 pounds people. I think we all know why but please don't get me started on that one.
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