baby pitt

While my brother was in town he treated me to dinner – which he of course “expensed.” For those of you that don’t know what that means, it is what rich people do when they are on business trips. So people who have fancy high-paying jobs that fly them all over the world get to eat out for free in some of the cities finest restaurants. But if you have a fancy high-paying job that flies you all over the world, can’t you afford to pay for your own dinner? Yes. But that isn’t the point. The point is I got a free meal. I also got some motivation to get a job that allows me to “expense” things. The big news of the day came when I learned my brother is an Emmy award winning…whatever it is he does. Something with technical stuff – user interface – I don’t know. He doesn’t actually get the Emmy. It is in an office building somewhere, but we were encouraging him to go get a picture taken with it. He wasn’t too thrilled about this whole Emmy thing, so that is why I put it on my blog. Ya know so everyone will know.

My brother's friend Matt joined us at dinner. Matt also happens to be having a baby. Well, Matt's wife Kim is doing the actual having of the baby, but nonetheless Matt is still attending Lamaze classes solo and preparing for the birth of his first child. Being a younger sibling I can attest to the fact that that first is of course the favorite so Baby Pitt #1 is in store for lots of love and attention.

Kimberly is off in Texas with her family so I unfortunately didn’t get to see her but I assume she is at least mildly excited (excited about the baby that is). That is the thing about having a baby, people are always very excited. Parents, grandparents, friends, uncles, aunts, everyone is excited. Strangers on the street go up to pregnant women everyday very excited asking to touch their stomachs. Personally I think that is a complete invasion of space and there should be a law against it. Just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you want some strange sicko with a stomach fetish rubbing your belly. But anyway point being usually when you get new things you are this excited about like a car, a house, a flat screen TV (no Matt & Kim I am not comparing your baby to a flat screen TV) the thing you are excited about getting does something. But as anyone who has seen a baby can attest, babies don't really do much of anything, at least not in the beginning. But they have got a good 15 years before the kid starts to cause any serious damage so they might as well be excited about it.

One of the reasons I wish I could have seen Kimberly, besides the fact that she is funny, is because she is probably pretty big right now and there wont be many chances to see her in “the family way.” And apparently this time she is pretty big because they found out last week that the baby is growing at an alarming rate. Either Kimberly is going to give birth to the largest baby known to man or she will be delivering a little sooner than expected – for her sake I hope it is the latter. But either way Mother Nature knows what she’s doing and I am sure they will be more than pleased with the outcome. Well they better be…there are no returns with this one guys!

They have decided not to find out whether it is a boy or a girl. This is a decision I whole-heartedly support. Apparently some people disagree. I say if other people are so invested in whether or not it is a girl or a boy they should go out and have their own baby. It is theirs and they can do what they want with it. But for all you doubters out there, there is a pretty good chance that whatever is inside Kimberly at this moment is either a boy or a girl so you should just relax and wait another couple months. I have gotten confirmation that they will be sending out a mass email after Baby Pitt has entered the world that will say when and where he/she was born and I am sure they will some how find enough room to mention whether it was a boy or a girl. Although it would be kind of funny if they didn’t. But regardless of all that Baby Pitt is well on its way to being a functional member of society. Its genetic make up is probably already in place and I can assure you all it had its selection of one of the finest gene pools I have come across. It will probably not only be the cutest baby ever but really smart and funny too.

I can already tell Matt is going to be very protective of Baby Pitt. I mentioned that once the baby was born they had a built in prop for their next Christmas card. I'm not so sure if he though it was that funny. But imagine the possibilities! I am very excited to see the baby. I even promised to baby-sit. But I wont touch it until it is at least a few months old. I don't want to mess it up right away. Give them a few months to enjoy nature's version of perfection before I do something wrong with it. I do have a tendency to break things…especially things that are brand new. Although I do hear babies aren't as breakable as they seem, but that whole “you break it you buy it” thing doesn’t really work in this situation.

Well anyway I wish them lots of luck and happiness and not too many poopy diapers. Perhaps Mark can help teach Matt and Kim how to expense part of their baby? I hear they can be rather expensive. Even I managed to run up quite the hefty tab with my folks. But I have a plan in the works that will allow me to pay them back at some point…in like a while.