Law and Order...da da

My new roommate likes Law and Order and although I admit to enjoying a murder mystery every now and again I really can't watch like five in a row. Well apparently I can because that is pretty much all I have done during my free time this summer. I mean between the original and SVU and Criminal Intent that shit is on all the fucking time! I shouldn’t really talk but I honestly don’t know why people like the show so much. It is the same episode every freaking time. Someone dies or gets brutally raped and beaten, they think one person did it then there is always some plot twist that puts the whole case in jeopardy. They find out that the first suspect didn’t do it. The case looks like a dead end; one of the police officers says a snazzy one liner; then there’s a break in the case! They find out who really did it but they can't get a conviction unless a witness turns against his sister's best friend's uncle’s mother’s nephew. They make a deal with said witness. They take it to trial. Someone cries. The DA crosses the line…for justice. The judge gets mad. The jury deliberates. Then they are either found guilty and justice was served (or it wasn’t reeeeally served because the only reason he did it was to take revenge on the death of his only child) or they are found not guilty even though we know they really did it and they play that music in the background and they criminal gives that sneaky smile and then there is more music and another clever one liner from the DA.

So that’s pretty much it. Every episode is pretty much the same. Why do I still watch? Um…because I am addicted. It’s actually a problem. It’s so bad I have actually seen reruns. You know how many episodes of Law and Order there are out there? The fact that I have started watching an episode and then been like “shit…I’ve seen this one before” and CONTINUED to watch is not only a little scary it is honestly cause for concern. So I think from here on out, well at least until Monday am going to do my best to watch as little TV as possible and more importantly NO Law and Order. Really I can do it. I don’t even like it that much, which I suppose makes it even more pathetic.

i'm not a team player

How come Friday has to last so long? I look forward to Friday all week and once it gets here I just want it to be over. It is never going to end. It’s 5:00 and I guarantee this next half hour is going to last an eternity. Oh well. At least I can lounge around doing nothing for the next couple of days. And believe me nothing is exactly what I will be doing. Besides the fact that I have zero dollars I am also incredibly lazy. I’m not going anywhere. Today has been so slow. Everyone in New York City is on vacation. Literally. EVERYONE. I barely knew what to do with myself today. No one was emailing me. No one could chat. There was really nothing left for me to do but work. So I worked for about three hours straight. That shit nearly killed me. Ugh, and since I just can't seem to take initiative they keep assigning me projects. I hate projects. If I wanted to do projects I would have taken the initiative to do it on my own!! I don't want to work. I just want to go on vacation. Also, I realized that I'm not a team player. In fact I hate the team.

Marquee

So yeah I've been there. Hate to say it, but it's true. It was a friend's birthday party and I went. It sucked. I mean I had fun but it sucked. We did see Irulan and Trichelle from the Real World. Looks as if Irulan is a waitress there. Anyway besides getting elbowed in the head by an anorexic blonde girl the evening was alright. Since all the men there apparently have money to piss away we definitely got some free drinks. But what really takes the cake is some dude trying to give money to the bathroom attendant so his girlfriend scratch that, the girl he is trying to sleep with could cut in the bathroom line. Because at places like Marquee money matters more than even how you look. That explains why there were absolutely no attractive men in the entire building. There weren't even any nice men. Just rich men. Rich men who use their money to cover up the fact that they aren't remotely interesting or nice...or attractive. And I'm gonna be honest with you people I'll take a good looking poor boy over an ugly rich one any day of the week. Money isn't nearly as important to me as looks are. I have my own money I certainly don't need someone else's.

Anyway, the DJ was amazing but that will only get you so far when there is no one to dance with. And honestly how much dancing can you do with people pushing and shoving you all night. I guess they are all about making money and if dudes are lame enough to spend $300 on a bottle of vodka that normally costs $30 they might as well take advantage of them.

Perhaps it just isn't the place for me. It looked like there were tons of people there having fun. For example, if you are a white girl who likes black dudes that only like white girls, or a black dude who likes white girls who like black dudes who only like white girls, then this is your spot. Oh and if you are an Asian girl, cause everyone likes Asian girls. If you have pin straight blond hair but spend and hour straightening it everyday, then this is also a good place for you. If you have a high-paying job to mask your insecurities and like to buy girls who use you for your money expensive things, you would also probably have a really great time at this place. If you are arrogant, and completely uninteresting or wearing a shirt that says "Overworked and Underfucked" then this is also a place you might consider visiting.

While I was there I got hit on by some 22 year kid. Now I sort of see the reason there are 25 and up nights. I think they should have more of those. So, I found the perfect way to get rid of a dude without hurting anyone's feelings. No more will I say I have a boyfriend, or that I am too tired to dance, or that I don't feel like talking to anyone. You will never hear me mutter the words I hate dancing, I hate boys, can you leave me alone?, or even, I'm crazy you don't want to talk to me. Yes I've said it all. I suppose the one positive of going to Marquee was to learn the way to get a man to not only stop talking to you but to sprint off in the opposite direction. Ready? Its a doozy.

Try imagining this:
22 year old guy dancing behind me and being all annoying, Me, Looking annoyed and not dancing (ok this probably isn't too hard to imagine).
22 year old guy: Hey
Me: How old are you? You look young.
22 year old guy: 22
Me: you're too young for me.
22 year old guy: How old are you?
Me: 35
22 year old guy:What?!?
Me: 35
22 year old guy: TWENTY - Five?
Me: No. THIRTY - five.

He was gone quicker than I could say "tick tock...I'm so desperate I don't even want a relationship, I want your sperm!"

Well lesson learned. No Marquee for me. At least now I know what I am talking about when I tell people it's lame.

here i am

So here I am. It’s been a while but I suppose I am sufficiently bored and unsatisfied at my “new” job to starting writing again. Don’t get me wrong. I love my job, its just not as exciting as it was, ya know a year ago. For those of you that are stumbling upon this for the first time and don’t know me – I work at a non-profit organization in New York City. I am not trying to save the world or anything just make it a little bit better. Since I work at this non-profit and not a big corporation I can’t exactly afford to live in New York City, so I live in Brooklyn, which I guess still counts as New York City, but whatever.

Not much has really changed for me…but let me see if I can think of something. Hmmmm. Oh yeah. My new roommate (number 4) moved in today. She seems nice enough. I hope she’s not crazy. I did find her off the internet after all. God only knows what may happen to me tonight. Well I sure as hell am locking my door when I go to sleep. I was worried there for a second that she might have eaten one of my frozen waffles without asking. But I checked the freezer and she bought her own. Thank god. Because only a true sociopath would have stolen my food and eaten it in front of me the day she moved in. And what if she had been a sociopath? What if she had eaten my waffles? Jeff never ate my waffles?!?! I think we all know I never would have had the guts to say anything and she would have continued eating my waffles until I had a breakdown and totally freaked out at her. And since had she eaten my waffles that would have made her a sociopath. And since she was a sociopath she wouldn’t have reacted at all when I screamed at her she would have waited until I fell asleep and hid frozen waffles all over the apartment! And then after I realized how legitimately crazy she was I would have been way to scared to ask her to move out. So I would have been stuck living with a crazy person. Living with a crazy person is pretty much my worst nightmare. Well that and being forced to pick out curtains for my living room. And I’m worried she’s crazy… maybe she should lock her door tonight. But I guess anyone is better than that married unemployed lady that I met!

Also just to set the record straight I fucking hate the color green. I’m no web designer or anything but you would think they could come up with some better options for layout. Well I think that is all for now. It really feels good to get all that out. Hopefully some slightly entertaining things will happen to me in the near future so I can write about that and you don’t have to listen to me go off on tangents about crazy people that aren’t even crazy (hopefully).

all kinds of viruses

Are you serious? That is what I have been asking myself for the last month. I have had a leak under the bathroom sink for more weeks than I can even remember, and now my super can’t fix it because he has all kinds of viruses. He was perfectly fine yesterday when he came over to “fix” it but forgot the part. He sounded perfectly fine on the phone. I can’t take it anymore. The first three weeks he just didn’t show up, the week after that he didn’t pick up the phone, the week after that I don’t think his wife gave him my messages. The week after that he had knee surgery. Next it was Christmas and then new years. Then he finally comes over to fix it but he doesn’t have the right part. Are you serious? Now he has “all kinds of viruses?”

Of course according to him he will be able to come over tomorrow and fix it. Honestly, someone with “all kinds of viruses” probably shouldn’t even leave the house for weeks. What does that even mean? “All kinds of viruses?” Like you have the flu AND West Nile at the same time? It’s fucking ridiculous that’s what it is. How am I supposed to live like this? I ask the guy to come over and fix a leak and he gives me this attitude like I dialed the wrong number or something. Hello. It’s your job asshole. Everybody hates their job (well I don’t), but you have to do it anyway. Especially if people are actually counting on you for something. Maybe if he had just been honest with me and said, “sorry lady but I’m never gonna fix your sink”, maybe I would be ok with that. It’s the lying I can’t handle. I suppose I am just being naïve when I assume he will come when he says he will, but I just don’t understand how someone could be so deceitful so often. I mean that takes a lot of work! Coming up with all kinds of excuses can’t be easy work, and if he put half as much effort into his real job as he did into getting out of working he would surely be the best super in New York.

But besides that things are going pretty well. My team won big yesterday – as I expected. Still a long way to go, but nothing like a big win to start off the week!!