I got a promotion. That's what they call it. I call it just another annoyance and further confirmation that I do in fact actually work here. I will be working for two partners. Matt (who I have been working for) and Samantha. That is the promotion. I will be doing the same thing, except only for two people instead of four. Along with the "prestige" of working for partners I also get a raise. That's right you get more money when you work for less people. Doesn't make sense to me either but I guess since they are supposed to be "more important" it makes a difference or something. Although I could argue they are less important. Partners seem to work fewer hours and take fancier, longer vacations, they also can't wipe their ass without calling an associate...so if they are never here and when they are here they are running to their employees for help...that makes them more important how?
The raise is nice, let's hope it is a good one. Let's also hope it is retroactive because Matt has been a partner for over a month, and I know he got his raise, so I'm waiting. Anyway this new woman I will be working for is a little crazy. Hopefully it wont be a problem. She is however about to pop out her third child. I am hoping that means a nice loooooong maternity leave. She also works from home a bunch. I love it when they work from home.
Marge is very sad to see me leave, as I am sure you can imagine. The first thing she asked me this morning was "Liz, were you able to get some sleep last night, with all the changes? hahaha." "Yes." These are the things Marge lives for. This is her idea of exciting juicy gossip. Who is moving to what office, and who will be working for whom. (By the way it feels like a Friday to her today.)
It is just annoying that everyone is congratulating me. Why? Do you know what this promotion means? It means that after being here a little over a year I have already reached the pinnacle of success. The highest point I can possibly achieve here. After this there is nothing more for me to accomplish. Congratulations? More like pretty fucking pathetic. If they aren't congratulating me, they are telling me how lucky I am. Lucky? Please lucky would be if I won the lottery or if I saw myself getting another job in the foreseeable future. Or even the unforeseeable future. I just want them to pay me more. And pay me more ASAP. Cause the funds are running a little low.
I want to give a shout out to the security department here at 80 Pine Street. Nice to know you guys have everything "under control". Well not really. They will let pretty much anyone into the building. Just sign the book and in a rare occasion they even take a digital picture. The picture could be of Osama himself and you couldn't tell with the shitty cameras they have. So why even bother?
But we do have the best security badges money can buy. Very high-tech. They open all the doors and get me past those turnstile thingys in the lobby. They have our pictures and our names. They are so high-tech that once you use yours to get into the building you can't use it again for another 15 minutes. I am sure Mark could tell you all how that works but to me it is magical. In fact I would rather not know. I kind of enjoy getting locked out of my office and having the turnstile freeze immediately as I swipe my card. I don't want to know how that little black sensor thing can tell that I was just there. Nor do I want to know why it cares enough not to let me back in.
A lot of the woman here keep their cards around their necks or clipped to their skirts. I just sort of let mine float around my bag. Sure it takes me a little longer to find it then everyone else, but why rush to my desk? I refuse to put it on a string and wear it around my neck, I also refuse to clip it to any part of my body. I don't need any other reminders that I work here. I certainly don't want to advertise it.
What am I? A child that needs to have my key clipped to my body. I would feel like instead of me having my ID card attached to me, my ID card would have me attached to it. I would be on a leash, at its mercy. It is bad enough I can't go anywhere without it, I don't need to give it anymore power than it already has. I don't need to be attached to it. I know it is there when I need it, most of the time. I don't want it stringing me along throughout the day letting me in one second and not letting me in the next, on what appears to be a whim. I would rather keep it out of sight in my bag or on the floor of my bedroom and use when I choose. And treat it as disposably as this law firm treats me.
I left my card at my desk last night so first thing in the morning I had to deal with "security". The guy sort of knows me by now because I am often sans ID card. He looks me up and down, I assume to make sure I am not carrying any suspicious packages. He asks me which company I work for. He knows exactly which company I work for. We do this every other week at least. I write my name in a book and then he gives me a spiel about where my card is and so forth. Like I need to hear it from him. Like I enjoy inconveniencing myself and decided "ya know what Liz, leave your card at your desk so you have to deal with the dude with the moustache and you have to bang on the door to get into your office." Sounds like a great idea. I am a grown women I don't need a lecture from some guy like I forgot my homework or something. What the fuck does he care where my card is? Just fucking let me in.
So he lets me in. People around here are too lazy to take their cards out of their wallets so they hold everyone up by trying to get their card to read through their wallet, pants pocket, or purse. So he essentially humps the sensor four or five times to try to get it to beep. He is obviously confused and embarrassed it isn't working. He is "security" after all. There is a lot of humping and butt rubbing against these sensors. I suppose if you didn't know what people were doing it would look a little perverse.
So I'm in and I think as I glide up to the 20th floor, what kind of security is this? Do they just let anyone in without a card? What's the point of having a card if someone will just let you in without one? Isn't the fact that you have a card supposed to mean something? Aren't you only allowed in with your card? That is what we were told when we got our cards. I say if you show up without your card, you should be sent home, or to some kind of room where people who forget their cards have to be quarantined and questioned. Once deemed "secure" then we can head up to our office. That's what would happen if I was in charge of security. There are crazy people running all over this city. You can't just be letting them in without a card.
Sure "security" knows I work here but what if I had just been fired and am coming back to get revenge? I don't think I like this. He didn't even ask for ID. But I think if you are going to have 15-20 security guards patrolling the lobby and even more in the "messaging center" then Jesus fucking Christ have some fucking security. Just because you know me and I don't look crazy, doesn't mean I'm not. I could be just as crazy as the next guy and I would like everyone to be treated with the same amount of suspicion so please security people let's kick it up a notch.
No comments:
Post a Comment