i boycott being nice

So they sent out this company wide email about how my firm is #1 in this and #1 and that and top ten in this other thing that I can't quite understand. The only thing I understand is that these people are officially evil. And cheap. Along with our top ten finishes in three major categories of law stuff, they also sent along some very startling numbers $34 billon, $25 billion etc. I'm am certainly not suggesting that my firm took in all that money, but if I know these lawyers as well as I think I do...they sure had a fistful of that cash.

Nothing wrong with getting the money you worked for. Now I know for sure that they have plenty to go around. Perhaps I will print it out and bring it to my "salary review" meeting in MID MAY. Or maybe I will just ask my bosses if they are willing to get one less free cab ride/dinner a week so I can get my raise sooner.

I am moving to another floor next week. I hate the idea of moving because part of me feels like since I am packing up - I am leaving, but no. I am just moving to another floor in the same company. Once I am nice and settled I am going to start bothering them about my money. It isn't like I am asking for $100,000 a year, or even $50,000. I can't even think about it I get so mad. Anyway...the squeaky wheel gets the oil and I certainly have nothing better to do than squeak all day long. So watch out administration. Maybe I will write them up a memo. They like to send memos around here. And I could get it hand delivered, they really like things hand delivered. Maybe I could print the memo out on the back of the email they sent out about how much money the firm makes. Do you think that is too much?

But I decided that until I get my money I am going to have some sort of boycott. I can't strike...because besides the fact that they probably wouldn't notice if I didn't show up...after so many days, they can start deducting pay. That would have the complete opposite outcome than I had intended. I want MORE money, not less. If I am going to continue to waste away here, I might as well have enough money to maintain my luxurious lifestyle.

Anyway I decided my boycott will include things like no more holding doors for people who work here, no more holding the elevator for people to finish their insipid conversations in the lobby and certainly no more clearing paper jams. Things like that. I am also cutting out any small talk of any kind. Now that I will be moving floors I wont know anyone and should make it through the day in silence. No Marge to bother me. No joking around with Andy. Although this may amaze most of you I have no desire to speak whatsoever between the hours of 9:30 and 5:30. No one here has anything smart enough to say back. I can't really get in trouble for being a huge bitch. But this boycott only applies to those who work in the firm. So I will be nice to everyone else. Well at least as nice as I usually am.