critical mass

So a file disappeared. I am supposed to be in charge of reorganizing Matt's files. And I did reorganize them. Well most of them. I sort of hit wall. There is only so much filing a person can do, and my back really started hurting from moving them from one cabinet to the next. And I really hate alphabetizing. But 90% of all his "deals" are alphabetized by client name and placed neatly in the filing cabinets in the hallway. I have still a few remaining that need to be put away, and I have yet to print out the final list of files and mark the cabinets with his name and the drawer number. It all seems pretty self-explanatory and I see finishing up at this point pointless. I mean if he needs a file he knows where they are. Not only that he knows the alphabet and I am sure he could figure out that the F's come after the E's and before the G's. So why does he need a master list that tells him exactly what drawer EVERY file he has EVER worked on is in? Seems a little self-indulgent. Whatever.

After he saw what a marvelous job I did reorganizing those files he decided we should continue. Great. I sure learned my lesson. Never say "well if there is anything I can do to help let me know." Unless you really mean it. And honestly who ever really means it. If I actually wanted to help I would just do the millions of little things that need to get done around here. But I have strict policy about not taking initiative and only doing things after I have been asked.

Anyway the new filing system doesn't require much work on my end. After he goes through a file and decides it has been thinned out enough to put in a cabinet he will put it against his wall and I am supposed to go see it and put it in the correct filing cabinet. But at this point even the tiniest request from these people seems like I am being asked to move mountains. I just don't have the energy.

I was bringing him something one morning and noticed a new folder appeared against his wall. Great. I go pick it up and decided that moving it from his office to a box under my desk was the least I could do. I mean at least he will think I have made some progress. So there it went into the box under my desk. And there is sat for days, weeks, I am not really sure how long. It sat there until someone took it. I am not sure who and I am not sure why but one day I just noticed it was gone. It is possible that the file had been missing for weeks and I just didn't see.

Well what the fuck am supposed to do now? I certainly can't tell him the file has disappeared. I don't even know which file it was. It was been so long since he went through it that it would really be like me saying "um...hey Matt...you know that folder you went through a month or so ago and left it for me to file? Well, I put it under my desk to file it later and...it's gone. I don't know when it went missing but its not there now...and it wasn't there yesterday, actually I have known it has been gone for while I just didn't feel like dealing with it."

I don't even know what his reaction would be. He would probably wonder why I didn't just open the cabinet and put it in immediately after taking it from his office. A good question I suppose, and a question I have even asked myself. But that would have required finding out which cabinet it belonged in, making room, and then adding it to the list he ask me to create. Much more complicated and time consuming than you would think. And much too annoying for me to actually do. If he were in fact to ask me that question the only honest response I could give would be "well, because I'm lazy." And I can't say that. So I concocted some stupid excuse in my head (just in case I'm found out) about how I was waiting for there to be a critical mass, because it is easier to file more than one at a time...or something.

Anyway, I certainly can't tell him any of this, then I would look irresponsible and I would feel bad. He is really nice to work for and I don't want him to hate me. But who would steal a file? I doubt it had anything important in it. Just a bunch of papers that no one but a lawyer could understand. Maybe the cleaning lady thought it was trash? What should I do? Tell him? Continue ignoring the situation and hope I get a new job before he goes to find this file that in his head is safely resting in file cabinet 1-10? Oh I don't know. See there I go caring. I have got to stop doing that.