redecorating

Since when does decorating mean moving heavy files out of your office into the filing cabinets by my desk? One of the associates hasn't quite gotten it in her weasely little brain that I work for partners now. Working for partners means I don't have to do anything for anyone who I don't work for. She asked me for a rubber band once, with a little bit more attitude than I appreciated but I let it slide. Then she asked me to send something inter-office even though the little routing slip was much closer to where she was standing. I said "excuse me?" then she repeated her request, I complied. Her secretary was out to lunch and I felt bad since the attorneys really don't know how to do anything. I figured maybe she had forgotten how to circle a name and write down a room number.

But today I have reached my limit. I have to figure out a way to make this woman realize I am not here to move heavy objects on a whim because her secretary has stepped away and she is too lazy to do it herself. It was bad enough this morning she had me printing out and stapling emails because the printer isn't hooked up to Lotus Notes on her computer. Why does she need something done at the exact moment her secretary leaves her post? If she really wants those emails printed out so bad why doesn't she call the help desk and have them tell her how to hook up the printer? They will even send up an IT guy to do it for you if you ask nicely.

Just a few moments ago Janelle's sub for the day went to the bathroom. Becky, that's not her real name, but it should be. She seems like a real Becky. Except not like the nice fun Becky's we all know and love, she’s more like the obsessive compulsive controlling man hating Becky's - that we all know but don't love. Anyway, "Becky" came out of her office. She looked like a dear caught in the headlights when she realized Janelle's sub had stepped away. The thought she might actually have to do something annoying herself disappeared from her thoughts just as quickly as it had entered them. Her exact thought process probably went something like this "oh shit that deaf lady sitting in for Janelle isn't here when I want her here so this will have to wait…but I am a lawyer and I can't wait...I could do it myself...no, I'm a lawyer and I can't do anything myself...shit.............that other person's secretary is just sitting there...I'll make her do it." "Elizabeth...do you want to help me redecorate my office?"

I was a little surprised she didn't wait for the deaf lady to come back because things like decorating can always wait. At least wait long enough for this woman to get back from the bathroom. "Sure". I'm thinking who doesn't like to decorate. I should have known by the desperate, helpless, slightly evil look on her face that she had no intentions of getting me to "redecorate" her office.

Let me tell you something about "Becky" she is short. Not that that really has anything at all to do with the story but she is fairly shorter than I am so I feel like it should be mentioned. She also has a lateral lisp, which I have found charming in EVERY OTHER person I have ever met in my entire life. With her it just adds to the annoyance. That along with a pony tail that is just a wee bit too perky and really ugly shoes. Not that my shoes are so great but her budget is slightly more flexible than mine, so she has no excuse. Also her tendency to lock herself in her office and giggle and squeal uncontrollably at whatever is being said to her over the phone has gotten really old. Oh yeah and she for whatever reason finds it necessary to play a certain Oscar nominated song over and over and over and over and over and over again all day long everyday. Yeah I get it you like the song, we all like the song. But I am not five years old an I don’t need everything repeated 50 times a day to enjoy it.

When I think of redecorating I think of picking out paint colors and furniture. "Becky's" idea of redecorating involves ME moving lots of heavy things from HER office to the cabinets by my desk. Ummm. I mean drawers not cabinets. I said cabinets and she corrected me. I suppose they are more drawer-like but I didn't really see why it was necessary to point out that the files are in fact going in drawers and not cabinets. And so what if they are going in cabinets? Like I say on a fairly regular basis, if these people want anything done in an effective fairly competent way…I’m not the girl you’re looking for. She is lucky I didn’t just throw all her shit out the window.

Well the “redecorating” went fairly smoothly, at least for "Becky". I however, was not so lucky. My Manicure is officially ruined and there is a folder in the third drawer by the printer that has my blood on it. Blood from the paper cut I received "redecorating". Hmm. At least it is Friday and I wont have to do other people’s pointless dirty work until Monday morning!